Would it be a nice gesture, or is it safer not to take the chance? She doesn't have any other children, no husband, and I doubt that her family would do anything for her.
Should I take her the Mother's Day Card?
Well, you know her best, if you think she is emotionally stable enough to take it, than go for it.
I lost my child christmas eve to a miscarriage...and nobody has said happy mothers day to me, only because my baby, only baby, is gone...but thats how the world looks at it- they basically think if the child dies than it never existed, i feel that your friend would take comfort in the fact that you care enough for her to mention her child that she had, because im sure that child is still very real to her, just as mine is real to me, even i i never got to see her...just because the child is gone physically it doesnt mean that the child is gone emotionally for her, it would probably cheer her up. Just be sure to write a long note inside so she doesnt think you are delusional, lol. a heartfelt one, a loving one, and pour as much love into it as possible...because im sure it hurts enough losing a child youve had physically for a while, but it hurts just as bad to lose one you never got a chance to know...or even see.
God Bless You
~*~Acey~*~
Reply:awww.. this is extremely hard!! very very tough... i'm speechless. i would however acknowledge her as a mother w/o overdoing it!! get her a decorative candle and light it up together in her baby's memory. and say a prayer. I am a mother now, but I also lost a baby at 4.5mos of pregnancy. you never forget the incident (stillborn is worse, i'm sure) and i consider myself as that baby's mother too.
give her hug and a kiss.. don't say happy mother's day, since there's nothing happy about it for her...
i'm glad you are thinking of her though.. she must be going thru hell.
Reply:I think so. Just say, "I was thinking of you today and want you to know that I love you." Let her bring up the baby if she wants.
Many times it is such a relief to be able to talk about a baby you lost with other people. It's tough when no one acknowledges him/her.
I've never carried a baby to term, and my husband brings me flowers every mother's day. It's weird that no one else sees me as a mom, but I believe I'll get to hold those little ones in heaven, and I will always have been their mom.
Even if she cries, just be calm and listen. Listeners in this world are such a blessing.
Reply:I'm not a woman so take it for what it's worth. There's no way I'd run the risk of dredging up all of that emotion. Go by and visit - for no reason at all - and don't bring it up unless she does.
Reply:Don't bring her a mother's day card, it's too soon. But a thinking of you card or something neutral would be nice. So would the flowers, and your ear if she wants to talk. You're a good friend.
Reply:I think it would be very nice of you! I imagine she is already thinking about her baby anyway. It would most likely help her to know someone cares and acknowledges that she is a Mom even though her baby died!
Reply:I would do it.
She's probably thinking about it and upset anyway, but perhaps is alone. Your support could mean a lot to her.
Reply:No, wait for some ordinary day and take her out for a "happy fun day".
Reply:Only you know her and can answer that... It may only remind her of a personal tradgedy... walk softly...
Reply:Yes
Reply:YES, YES ! WHAT GOD SAY.
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