What do you call a Mother who only cares for herself. Selfish!?

My Mother only cares for her self. She is very selfish and money hungry. She is 69 years old and wants her children to take care of her. She has never been there for her children, never told them she loves them, only calls them for money or when she needs something. You know how hard it is to buy a Mothers Day Card. I haven't spoken to her in 2 years because she is a horrible mother. She takes but has never given. I just don't want anything to do with her. Sometimes I feel guilty feeling this way. How do you get through the pain of an awful childhood and make your Mother understand that you do not want to be used anymore?

What do you call a Mother who only cares for herself. Selfish!?
The sad part is .... she will never understand. Although you want her to, you desperately want her to realize what she has done, and continues to do, she will never comprehend.



No matter how old we are, the absence of a mothers love is scarring. And it is so pitiful how often we will grasp at any glimmers of hope that may appear to be what we have waited for all of our lives. How sad. And how true.



The best way to get through the pain is to actually live again. I know this sounds so unreal, but it is true. It takes years of work. Maternal neglect is such a hindering force in life! The children must work doubly hard to reverse the effects.



Do you journal? Do you write down the pain you feel as a result of your mother's neglect? Have you documented the lifetime of bad choices and pain your mother's selfishness has caused you? Have you cried out to God to help you deal with the anguish and guilt you feel as a result?



These things help. I don't know why, but they do. I wish you the best with your journey. Your mother is about the same age as mine, and it sounds like your journey has just begun. Mine started about 19 years ago, and I am still working on it. Your best reward, to yourself, is to start living again. Peace be with you my friend. It's a long road, but you can make it.
Reply:Sorry to hear that, but my mom is nothing like that. Just pray that she will change and you two can have a much better relationship in the future.
Reply:are you my sister? she sounds like my mother. i can tell you the pain never goes away from having an awful mother. it goes thru life with you. a mother should be loving, a lot aren't.
Reply:I feel bad for you, it is the worst feeling, because when you do not love your Mother you certainly will not love yourself enough.

However if your Mom is 69 she will never change. You can be a different person and act in a different way and certainly be a better daughter! Do you think you can try? Then you and your Mother will be a lot happier, it is a real winner!



Good luck!
Reply:My sympathy that your childhood wasn't as good like the others. I somehow feel your pain because I can relate to you, although my Mom is younger than your mother.



It is sometimes hard to get over the past especially when we cling on it too tight. But usually when we can't let go of the past, our future and, most especially, our present is affected.



It is usually hard to move on beyond your past. You need to acknowledge the fact that past is past and it can never be changed. Stop worrying about it and your Mom. Worry about the things you can change. Tell your Mom nicely that you can love her more if she only learns to treat you with respect. And if she can't, it is hard but you will prefer to have nothing to do with her, for a while. That you are in process of getting over the hate and pain she caused you in the past and you want to remember her with a smile on your face.



Your mother is a tyrant and I doubt that she will change.
Reply:OMG!! I know exactly what your feeling, cause i have a mother that is the same way. She has only thought of herself her whole life. I havent spoken to my mother in a year. I have three other sisters and one brother who hardly talk to her also. She has never put us first in her life. Only the men she sees. Now I am 35 years old with 4 children of my own and she treats them like crap.I got tired of it and So I decided to just not talk to her anymore.Cause every time we'd get together it would turn out bad. It hurts sometimes but it is something that I needed to do.for my children. Cause I love my kids something she never did.