To send or not to send a Mother's Day Card?

My boyfriend asked me an interesting question this morning - does he or does he not send a mother's day card to his son's mother while they're in the middle of an ugly custody dispute? I wasn't sure how to answer.



He sincerely wants to do what's best for his son, part of which is to continue trying to form a relationship with the mother. She has repeatedly thwarted his attempts, including moving 6 hours away.



He'd like to do everything he can to establish a good relationship, but I'm not sure if now is the right time to do this.



Opinions? And please be considerate, he had been paying (and is still setting aside) child support regularly and visiting with his son a couple hours a week until this case started.

To send or not to send a Mother's Day Card?
BEEN THERE, done it.



SEND. DEFINATIVELY.



Distance yourself from it %26amp; try to manage the situation so she can't think it's a ploy or sad tactic to win her over.



The injustice to fathers is morally appalling and something society should and will be ashamed of in 20 years time. Untill then: you have 2 options but only 1 hope as a father. Option 1 is court, where mothers get legal aid and option 2 is to dismantle the old relationship and build a new one based on trust and mutual agreement of what it best for your child. BOTH PARENTS is best. Children do not know what's going on and are not to blame so should not suffer the loss of either parent. When they do, they innevitable blame themselves and suffer from feelings of rejection.



Being civil is essential for the way your child will se you both in the future.



Go to mediation and try you hardest to convince the mother.

Never say it's for you, always say it's for your child.



there is so much to say.



mothers are in a position where they cannot but help abusing their strengths. try to imagine what you wold be like if society upheld your most selfish requests?
Reply:I think it would be better not to. If it's a nasty custody battle, she may see it as condescending. She may even try to use it against him (I don't know how, but you never know). If his son were older, I would definitely have him get one for her, but not if he's only 7 Months.

This is a lose/lose situation for your boyfriend, it's best for him to not address mother's day at all.
Reply:Send it from the son! Your husband can buy it, sign it, send it, and let it be from her son.

He should be sending child support to his son, no matter who he is mad at or what he is trying to do. His son still needs to eat, no matter what battle he is fighting.

Go see him, too. Then fight in court.
Reply:I think that is a very nice gesture, especially if he is trying to establish a civil relationship with her. This would benefit his child a great deal.



It doesn't need to be mushy. A simple thank you for being a good mom would mean so much to any mom. I think it is a great idea and I commend you for being so mature about this.
Reply:My boyfriend sends his ex a mothers day card every year. He puts a movie pass or something that his daughter can do with her mother in it.

They fight all the time. She even stops his daughter from talking to him as well. She moved half way across the USA so he can't even see her on a regular basis.

But he still trys. I think its the right thing to do.

My ex does something with my daughter and she ushually brings me home some sorta gift.
Reply:Yes. Send a card. All he has to say is "Even though we have our differences, I am thankful that our son has a wonderful mother. Happy Mothers Day". Another suggestion...have him get a gift for his son to give her. A good idea would be a picture of his son. It is something she will love and it won't be something she can take the wrong way.
Reply:Yes, tell him to send a card and some flowers and put his son's name on it!!! \He doesn't need to give her anything since they are not together, but his son should, and he should buy it for him. She'll be happy he did it and will probably break the ice a little!
Reply:my sister had her daughter scribble on paper as cards wn the daughter was only a couple months old. just have ur bf %26amp; his son make a little card - a thanks 4 being a great mom, an i luv u, %26amp; the son's scribbles. :) it would mean a lot even if the mom doesn't reply %26amp; isn't nice about the whole thing. ur bf's conscience can rest.
Reply:Yes! When he sees his son this week, tell him to take him to the store to pick a card for mommy...this way, it's from his son. Or, he can sit with him to make mommy a card. Either way, he's doing the right thing by his child!
Reply:If the card is from the son - then yes. However if the kid, is not at least 2, dont bother. At least at age 2, they can help being a little crafty - so make the card. Even photocopy it for your records :)



Under age 2, then its too much from the bf.
Reply:try to find a card that is from the point of view of his son; like a card to momther from son and Just to be really nice give her a $10 gift card, being a mom is a hard job and it's not alway easy; we should be awarded for it.
Reply:only if the mother's day card is from his son.



he shouldn sign his name. that would be too weird, and could possibly make them other even more distant and use it in court as possible harrassment.
Reply:I think that would be a very nice gesture. Don't expect much response from the mother, but I do think it would be a nice thing to do.
Reply:do NOT send a mothers day card...

If I got a mothers day card from My EX I would throw it right back in his face.........





its tacky!
Reply:I would have the son make him a card and leave it at that. Your boyfriends relationship with the mother is over and since he now has you in his life nice gestures like that would be more appropriate for you.



Since she has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with him the best thing he can do for his son is to ALWAYS speak kindly about his mother and to encourage the son to make things for his mom whenever it's her birthday, a special holiday, or even sometimes just because.



By doing this his son will see a different side of his father than his mother is most likely giving him and it will keep the boy feeling more secure in his relationship with both parents.



In all honesty the two relationships he needs to be focusing on the most right now is the one with his son and with you.



Good luck!

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