Husbands: Are birthdays/anniversaries/Mother... day important to you? What do you do for your wife on these days

I'm just wondering if men still consider thier wives Birthday, Mother's Day and their Anniversary to be important days? If so, what do you do on these days?



I've been married for three years. Our first Anniversary my husband took me to the mall. Last year we went and spent some time in Gatlinburg but only because my sister invited us.. my husband didn't want to go, and I don't think he has anything planned for this year either (I say 'he' because I'm a stay at home mom so since I don't make any money, I don't get to make any decisions about what we do.. :( ) On my birthday he'll get me a card and something little which I really appreciate but he acts like he doesn't want to, like he's just doing it b/c he has to. Mothers Day he'll get me something from my son, but give it to me, in a shopping bag days early. He has never made this day special. We fought this year because he just wanted to go fishing. IDK.. do I expect too much? All I want is to feel special on those three days..

Husbands: Are birthdays/anniversaries/Mother... day important to you? What do you do for your wife on these days
I think they're important.



But I'll tell you what.



I've forgotten my share of them.



And I've also shirked my duty to make sure the kids get cards and presents as well. (that's a whole other can of worms there).



I've also remembered a good share.



Sometimes, I'm really busy at work, I think I'll have time later to stop and pick something up - but I get a lot of pressure to come home from work promptly, (and frankly, this generates a fair amount of resentment from me) AND - I am not in-charge enough, of our finances, and often, don't feel that I have the freedom to pick out a gift if it's more than a certain amount, without maybe plunging our account into overdrafts. I never know if she has written checks that are going to go through the next day or two or whatever, to pay bills. Just reading the balance isn't enough. And she never leaves a safety cushion in the accounts, so, yeah, that's a reason why I will sometimes forgo a mother's day present.



Finally, I have bought some pretty nice things for my wife and gotten complaints. Ladies: have you ever complained to your man when he sends you a dozen, long-stemmed red roses? What if he paid too much for them (didn't shop around to get a good price)? This is a guarantee to get nothing the next year!!



Guys; has any of you ever been accused of buying your wife a present for you? (ie. Lingerie, a kitchen implement (even a luxurious one), etc.)



Buying our significant ladies a gift is a LOT more difficult for some of us than others. For some of us, it's a frickin' mine-field.



PS: . . . if you're sick of being jealous, then STOP. Being jealous will NEVER fix your problem, which is, you blame your husband's small income for your own insecurity. In fact, this will usually make your financial problems worse, because you'll have a tendency to buy things you can't afford on credit, and rack up debt. Look at his income now, and then think about paying $200 a month in interest on servicing credit-card debt, and receiving nothing in return for 5-10 years (only if you are disciplined in paying it back).
Reply:My wife and I rotate who does our anniversary. I always get her flowers, a card, and usually an expense gift. I only get expensive gifts twice a year (anniversary and Christmas). I am a blue color, low middle class worker. So that is what I can aford. I get her a less expensive gift for her birthday. She is a practical lady, so she preferrs practical gifts. I never get her a mothers day gift or card. She is not my mother. I always get my mother a card and flowers. I however make sure our girls, which are on there own, recoginze there mother on that special day. I also send her flowers throughoout the year just to let her know I love her. We have been married almost 10yrs.(June 26th). Everyone needs to know that they are loved. Your husband is a selfish ***.
Reply:You don't seem like your asking for too much. It is an obligation for him to at least acknowledge you on your special days. Your not asking for him to whisk you around the world are you? No of course not. You can go fishing with him and the family just to spend some family time. Have him allocate time for you though. Taking you to the mall is not romantic at all. What's in store for your anniversary, a trip to wall mart. Come on guys be real. I'm a guy and I'm not that stupid or naive. Show the women you love that you really do care. Or trust me they will seek else where.

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