Is it appropriate to send my ex-husband a Fathers Day card?

He basically abandoned our son right after he told me he was divorcing me. He moved to another state and was remarried within 6 months. He calls our son every night, has since he left. Our son misses him terribly but considers him more of a friend than a father. Even when my ex was living here he was an absentee father. I am trying not to be bitter for the betrayal but we were married for 25 years and the only good thing to come of it was our son. He sent me a text message on Mothers Day, not a card, so was not sure whether I should do this.

Is it appropriate to send my ex-husband a Fathers Day card?
I think that would be a real nice gesture. You are a better person than most to even consider sending an ex a card. The world needs more people like you.
Reply:well, things are sorta complicated for you, huh? I think it was a nice gesture on his part to send you the text message so maybe you could do the same back. For your son's sake, keep your relationship friendly.
Reply:Don't bother. He's not worth the 41 cents.
Reply:Ask your son if he wants to send his dad a card....
Reply:yes send him that card, but mark it from your son. not you. then you text him and say happy fathers day to him but leave it at that. no kisses at the end or nothing. just to remind him that he is a father and has responsibilities. good luck
Reply:I wouldn't bother. Let his new wife get a gift for him. I wouldn't worry about it.
Reply:You dont have to do anything. After all he has done you dont owe him a card, a text, or a phone call. It was a good jesture on his part, but he should have more for the woman who raised his son alone.
Reply:Not if you don't want to. It is up to your son to do so.


My children always sent their father one, I never did.
Reply:send the card, make it really nice and hopefully he will rue the day the crapped on you.
Reply:Why don't you ask your son if he wants to send his dad a card? Otherwise, why not leave this one alone?
Reply:I would have your son send the card if he chooses to do so. You owe this man nothing.
Reply:Heavens no, he is not your father. Let your son do what ever he wants on father's day.


By the way your husband was not abandoning the boy, he was abandoning you and the son was a causality.


You really have no idea what the son thinks of his father (and there is no need to). Do not acknowledge the text message on Mother's Day.


I think it is time for you to move on with your life and stop thinking so much about the ex.
Reply:Definitely not. He's your X. Not your father. If your son wishes to send him a card, than he should do so. Since he speaks to your son daily, then he hasnt abandoned him.
Reply:You shouldn't send your ex-husband anything, ever, from you. Your relationship is over. You should, however, encourage your son to send his father a card. Whether he is a great dad or a horrible dad, you want to encourage the relationship between them so that if it doesn't work out in later years, you cannot be blamed for keeping them apart.
Reply:ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! He has not been a good father to your son so why wish him Hapy Fathers Day. You are a good mother so it was ok for him to say the words to you.
Reply:He's not your father and hasn't been a father to you children. My son's father also sent me a text message on mother's day I replied a simply "thank you" because he too hasn't been a father to my son. I have no intentions of sending him a text message on father's day or having my son send a card. As I said, producing a child doesn't make a man a father. My husband is more of a father to my son and has been in the short time we've been together than his father has all his life. Father's day will be spent celebrating my husband, not my son's father.
Reply:If its on your heart to send him a text in return or if your son wants to make his father a card that would be fine. Don't feel like you should do it out of obligation. If you don't feel like sending him a text, don't. I think it would be a nice gesture for your child to see that mommy doesn't hold any grudges and he shouldn't either. If you do you do, if you don't you don't. Don't put too much thought into it...
Reply:you do what helps you deal with this. If its sending him a card for your sons sake then do it. It doesnt matter what he does but make sure your son knows your not a bitter person because you are hes teacher and you alone. Make sure he grows up to be a better man.
Reply:Don't waste your time or money on a man who was never there for your son. If your son wants to then there isn't anything wrong with him picking out the card. He sounds like a jerk to me. My first husband was like that. I raised 3 children on my own and they still think that he is their dad. The only good thing out of the marriage was my children. We are now divorced and thank God he died.
Reply:I think if your son wants to send him one, he should be able to. Although I certainly know where you're coming from--he sounds like my ex husband.
Reply:I wouldn't.
Reply:If you are still good friends and you gotten cards for him before you should. It's just a happy father's day card.


He might remember you on Next Mother's Day.
Reply:I would give him a card, just to show there are no hard feelings, and since he is a father, and is active in your sons life, he should get some recognization, but, if you think it might be awkward, a text message is at least something.
Reply:Speaking from dad's point of view. I stayed in the same town or with in 20 miles of my sons for the last 15 yrs. I'm an investigator and there's not alot of work for me in a town of 11,000.





BUT, I would not leave my son's for nothing, and trust me I've paid for it. But no good deed, I found a wonderful women, were newlyweds of 13 yrs. now. My oldest son came to live with me at 12yrs. and my youngest has been with me the last yr.





So the moral of the story it's up to dad as to whether he wants to stay a part of his sons life. His decision will come back to him one way or the other.
Reply:no
Reply:talk to your son. there's no need for you to have any involvment in his life, but your son does. let him know that fathers day is coming up and how would he feel about sending a card. Don't try and purswade him either way.
Reply:No, this man fathered a child biologically, but he's not a father.





No, don't send a card. Don't send anything. Silence speaks volumns.
Reply:I think that you answered your own question. Since it is Father's day, then your son should be the one to send a card, if he desires to do so. You can mail it or put a stamp on the card, but the card should come from the son of the father, not the ex-wife of the father. If he is not old enough to write, he can draw a picture or scribbe for that matter. If the child is old enough to send a card, and chooses not to, then Don't send one.
Reply:You are playing a long head game....STOP IT. MOVE ON.
Reply:no, i wouldnt. it was him who left you with your child.