Monday, January 30, 2012

NO mother's day card from my mother in law?

My mIL is a nightmare. she DID NOT send me a mother's day card..i am a first time mother and we sent her one from all of us. she LIED to me and told me she SENT it on Mon, it got back to her on Wed bec of the postage (which we all know doesnt start until Friday) and oh no..never received it....my husband is pissed off from this, as well as embarraassed by her actions. when he confronted her, she screamed at him that she DID send it and that al WE want are gifts.....she is a liar,,,,,,,my husband TRIES to talk to her, but she yells at him as if he were 16 years old again (he is 33) and she has also screamed at me...we have been together for 4 years, married for 2 and have a 1 year old son...we are adults, as well as parents and should be treated as such...any suggestoins???

thanks

NO mother's day card from my mother in law?
sounds like a problem on her part, maybe one of these days she well accept being grandma and be human toward you. If not at least your husband did something for you and so well your child when he gets older. that is small stuff, don't let it get to you. Learn that the 3 of you are family and that is what counts, sometimes you have to say to hell with it.
Reply:Let this incident go. Hard as it may be, don't worry: you'll end up looking "better than her" in the end. Next time she does something like this, just say: "Listen, *mil's name*, I know we've had our differences. but I know how to run my own family and my own life, as well as does my husband. I realize you're his mother, and you were the one who gave me my husband, but we have a family and are smart enough to know how to run it. We would like to include you in our lives as well as our son's, please, make it easy on us." Or something along those lines. be firm, and she'll get the point. Good luck
Reply:View it this way, she's not your mother. Get over it. Let her conscience speak for her.
Reply:i've never gotten a m.d. card from my mother in law. she doesn't call to say it either. i'm fine with that. why should she send you one? you aren't her daughter or her mother. let it go.granted, she lied to you but, probably b/c she wasn't planning on sending you one and when you got ticked off about it, she lied about it to make you feel better. the lie was wrong but, she shouldn't have had to lie in the first place.
Reply:First of all this is not a day for daughter-in-laws it is mother's day and your husband should buy you the card and gift. My husband had his mother buy me the card and gift for him. So the card didn't even come from him. When I found this out I was very upset but this is how I handled it. Every year I would get the card and gift I would go straight to the phone and call his mother and thank her until he finally started to buy one for me himself. And my first mother's day card from him was when my daughter was five.

Your mother-in-law has no obligation to give you a mother's day card but it is both yours and your husbands obligation to give her one. Yes it would of been thoughtful but do not let this come between you all. Your husband only has one mother and if she lies and yells it is up to your husband to talk to his mother without yelling and if she starts be the bigger person and don't yell back.

As for you I had the mother-in-law from hell until I had our first child and I proved to her I was the woman for her son. I killed her with kindness and we had a pretty good relationship and she was the most wonderful grandmother. Give her time she'll come around. And maybe she didn't send one because she never got one or sent one to the mother-in-law.

Just forgive her and tell her your sorry, you won't believe what a big door that opens up when you do this. Even when she should be the one appologizing. But then again do be taken advantage of either.

I guess I am for you guys to just forgive her because I lost my mother three months ago. We were just starting to get back together after a big family blow up, and now I have no more time to make up for lost time.

The heartache of not having everything resolved is a huge burden to carry.
Reply:I am sorry to say this but you aren't acting like adults. Why should your mother in law send you a mother's day card. You aren't her mother. You are your childs mother so he should get you one. You are your husband's wife and the mother of his child so he should get you one. Step back and think about it.
Reply:Why should your MIL buy you a mothers day card you are not her mother,wake up to yourself woman if you dont like your MIL just come out and say it dont look for excuses....................................
Reply:yeah...you all grow up and stay away from each other if you can't get along.


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