I’m hurt. Today was my 2nd mother’s day and I got a card from my 1year old and my step son, that’s it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the cards… but I expected more or something from my husband.
Last year I got these beautiful exotic potted flowers along with cards and dinner.
SO here is how my day went - I got up early and went with my sister to pick up my Mom who lives an hour away. We took her out to lunch and then bought her some hanging flower baskets as we do every year. I rushed back home so that I could spend some of “my day” with my family. I thought I would come home to my family and would get a big “happy mothers day mommy” special time with them. I was looking forward to seeing what my husband had got me. I’m a total gift person, I know not everyone is BUT I am %26amp; my hubby knows it. It doesn’t have to be expensive, as a matter of fact the more thoughtful the better, not the more expensive.…
Bad mothers day, what would you do??
I see a lot of upset women on here today. I guess the guys just aren' into Mothers Day this year. I worked all day and evening and came home to a card on the bed and I just tossed it. So there are a lot us us that are pissed off tonight. I guess we just feel we need some recognition for our hard work. So here's to all the moms out there that had a crappy day. I salute you all.
Reply:You are right for feeling upset...He did not make your day special and you should tell him that. Perhaps he will make it up to you. Hope you feel better.
I wont tell you what I did for my wife because it will only make you feel worse.....
Reply:Sounds like you married my ex! Give it some time and when the mood is right, explain that it hurt your feelings. That it matters to you that he acknowledge holidays. Just try and express it is an important factor in a relationship.
Reply:I understand how you feel, and you should be upset. But, you need let your husband know why your upset. You can't just assume that he knows.
Reply:Same with me here. I did not even get a card! Just a text-message from my daughter.
Oh, well. It is what it is. I just made a glass of margarita and I drink to your health! Happy Mother's Day!
Reply:I would be completely honest with him about how I felt. Honestly. Don't expect him to figure it out. You are justified in your feelings.
Reply:Drop it for now..but yet keep in mind fathers day is just around the corner!!!! Muhahahahaha..he'll get his or not!!
Reply:Aww, believe me, you're not the only mom who feels like they get swindled on atleast one mothers day :). Talk to your husband and give him an idea of what you want. You have to give him hints. I know men should read our minds, but unfortunately...and obviously they don't have that power.
I told my husband all I want for mothers day is the house to be straightened up, a card from my kids and for him to help them bake me anything...cake, cookies, brownies (they chose cupcakes). It's only his 2nd mothers day with you so I'd give him a break... a little one ;P. Happy Mothers Day!
Reply:i mean it is mother's day, and it only comes once a year. he shouldn't have act like it wasn't anything. i would be mad too. but that's why i have a back up plan. if he doesn't get me anything he better take me shopping the next day. and also out to eat. i would still act mad but say nothing is wrong until he see. i mean we mothers do alot too. and we only get one day to relax. so good luck.
Reply:Oh boy, have I been here. my husband popped his head in the bathroom while I was in the tub and said, "I'm good with mother's day, right?, since you aren't my mother? I just said yeah you are good. lol Don't take this stuff to heart. I used to and every holiday i would be so hurt that I didn't even want to see another holiday. Alot of husbands really suck at birthdays and Christmas. Plan your own holidays dear. Next year have the day pre-booked at the spa and let your hubby watch the kids...Now that's what I call a mothers day. When you get older, you will be thankful the kids just remember to call. One year, my brother-in-law got my sister a weed whacker for mothers day. He got a purse for fathers day. If you know he loves you, don't get hooked on the holidays and what is and isn't suppose to happen. If you want to go out for mother's day or valentines day, etc, make a reservation and tell him he's going. Enjoy your life together and don't take things to seriously or you will cry alot.
Reply:u need to explain it to him. try not to make it about the gift but about the lack of thought and appreciation that is supposed to go into mother's day. its our one day to sit back relax and be reminded of how much we are appreciated. I didn't an expensive gift (sports watch) but the whole day it was obvious they were trying to show there appreciation. I woke up to breakfast in bed, cards from each of my kids that they made with dad, and I wasn't allowed to do housework or change diapers all day. its was so nice to have a lil break.
Reply:No, when he gets home you tell him that you wanted something special. "I always do things for you and today I got nothing in return". If you are really hurt he should see that it meant alot. Hope fully next year will be better.....You are probaly a great mom ..its ok..I am gift persons too ..
Reply:Sometimes our husbands are just really dense. My husband completely ignored my birthday one year and after I told him how much it hurt me that I didn't even get a card, he has never made that mistake again. I'm a total material girl like you,and although I don't ever get much for any occassion I certainly get something, and I have ever since.
This year I got a 3 flower bouquet, some oranges I've been wanting, a card, and breakfast brought home! It's the thought and not the actual money spent that matters- If you explain this to your honey- I'm sure he'll get the hint. The fortunate thing about Mother's Day is it comes BEFORE Father's Day. lol. You can either show him what you expected- or you can show him how it felt. The choice is yours. :) You know which one will have more of an effect of him- and get the point across more clearly.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!
Reply:WHY?
Is this such a biggy for you just go out Tommorow and get something for you in his name and send yourself the flower's you like, and wear what you bought, set the table with the flower's, and say very loud while having Dinner, THANK YOU LOVE THE GIFT"S ARE JUST WHAT I HOPED FOR THE End.
I mean wake up it is us whom make such a drama over a gift, I never do i just go and get what i like and give my Partner the bill on the credit card, and say THANK YOU
this way he can't forget.
Reply:i am so feeling your pain, i got a cup of coffee in the morning, THATS IT, i even had my husband complaining that i should cook something different for dinner cos he is sick of the same food. Here is the kicker, i raise 3 kids and work full time and 2 of the children are his kids. I cook i clean i wash etc etc etc all day every day and all i got was a shitty cup of coffee. Yeah i was furious too...........even a gesture or a thankyou for everything you do for the kids would have been nice. I now believe mothers day is just one big joke.....I thought i was being selfish too but it should have been our day off
Reply:It sounds like you two don't know how to communicate very well. So you're hurt but you don't say anything. You have expectations but you don't voice them.
I bet you're the kind of woman who pouts and when asked, "What's wrong?" You say, "Well if you have to ask, then I'm not going to tell you." Or maybe you say, "Nothing", and then look real hurt or sad. Which is very manipulative.
So is there a reason why this Mother's Day was such a downer and no one did anything nice for you? You don't know why, and you're not going to ask. And he's not going to mention why, because you didn't ask. And if you have to ask, it takes away from your expectations.
I guess the "what would you do?" portion of your question could best be answered by, "I wouldn't act the way you did, that's for sure, I'd want to know where was my flowers/gifts/dinner for Mother's Day?"
It sounds to me like you and your husband play a weird game with each other. You set up these expectations, he doesn't come through but doesn't say why, he just acts like nothing happened and there's nothing wrong, then YOU act like nothing happened and there's nothing wrong, but there's all this tension and weird communications underneath.
Boy, what fun THAT must be. Not very productive, though.
I guess since you don't want to mention it you can expect another Mother's Day like this, next year.
But, what's wrong with just telling him, honestly and in your most mature and adult way, that you're disappointed? That the previous year's Mother's Day was so great and you thought it would be like that? Why don't you at least ask him why he just blew you off? Is he mad at you for something you did? Did he forget? Did he feel like he couldn't top last year's Mother's Day? Did he have a hangover? What HAPPENED?!?
Friday, January 27, 2012
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