I am due next week and very depressed about mother's day what should I do?

My mom died in september, so I knew that this time of year would be hard. But now that it's time to have my baby, and it being mother's day it is all just to much. I have three older children who have also been very sad about not having there Grandma around. And keep saying how sad it will be that the new baby will not have any grandparents. How can I keep my self from crying at every tv show or ad, or just walking threw the store and seeing mothers day cards and gifts? People have to think I crazy, plus I want to be strong for my kids.

I am due next week and very depressed about mother's day what should I do?
I can totally relate. My mom actually died the day before my daughter was born in 2006, and I still get sad all the time, especially around mothers day. It is still hard for me to think of Mothers Day as a day about me, and not about my mother. My daughter does not have a grandma since my husband mom passed years ago so I think about all of the same stuff.

It is fine to try and be strong for your kids, and it is also okay to cry about it too, I believe it just shows them how much love you had for her and it lets them know it is okay to cry.

Hopefully it will be something that gets better with time, and until then you do the best you can day by day.

My opinion is dont let people tell you to tough it out...I think that is unfair and probably being said by someone who doesnt understand how you feel.

Good luck, and do your best - that is all you can do!
Reply:You're pregnant, so of course you're going to be emotional. Don't hold back, just let it out. If your kids ask why, tell them the truth, that you miss your mom and the pregnancy makes you more emotional. There is no easy answer, I'm sorry, but just be glad that you're able to have children and you will soon have a beautiful new baby. Many children do not have grandparents, they will all be just fine. Good luck and congrats!
Reply:I'm very sorry for your loss.....and it's ok to cry. But you're right, you have to be strong for your kids......and also for the new baby. Think of the new baby as a new little flower starting life.....altho you've experienced the loss of life. Pray and speak to your mom and draw strength from her. Remember all the good times you had with her. I'm sure she's smiling down towards you, and I'm sure she wants you to be strong for her grand babies. Congrats %26amp; get ready for your little one.
Reply:The only thing you can do is mourn your loss and let time heal the emptiness you feel in losing your mother.

The baby's father does not have parents for the baby's grandparents?

It is sad, to lose a parent, to mourn so greatly. You must try to focus on positive things. You will all have a new little person, the baby won't know anything about not having a grandparent.

Try counting your blessings of what you do have.
Reply:That is all you can do- be strong... Your mom is looking over you- you might not see her but she is there.... I had something said to me when my sister passed that helped me out tremendously:

The pain and hurt you feel is a sign that you have great memories that will never fade.

Things can be hard- expecially when you know someone is gone and they cannot see your joy in being a new mommy again.... but you also have to think about how proud she would be and that she is there....
Reply:Try to give them and have yourself a great mother's day. Do some activities, maybe related to the birth of the baby to come. Try to change your mind. If you can't seem to get over it maybe seeking professional help could be a good idea --in this difficult time, nobody could blame you if you needed a little help.

Take great care --concentrate on what's good (like the baby)
Reply:This is all part of the processes. I know that 25 yrs later I still have trouble with fathers day. I think I would tell me children that baby does have grandparents, they are in heaven watching over us.



Many Blessings to you and your family. I will say a prayer for peace to surround you at what should be a happy time.
Reply:I think it is fine to cry. But after mother's day, buck up a bit and be sure to tell your kids over the course of their lives what a great mom you had.



I think remembering people and talking about them, sharing the history helps.
Reply:1- UR NOT CRAZY!

2- u have a very good reason to fell sad. just think, ur mom has already met ur baby! she is there with u all the time in thought and spirit. think of mother's day and the day ur baby comes as a day to celebrate LIFE!
Reply:I know its a sad time, but just be very strong! Think of all the good times you and your mother had! Take a break from your work and rest.





Peace.....
Reply:had had my baby 13 days after mom day last yr .. just think you are jsut about there .. cry if it feels better..do what ever the heck you want.. sorry about your lose .. hang in and congrast . maybe today you will have her
Reply:First, you need to recognize that what you're feeling is exactly what you should be feeling. You've had a significant loss. You're not crazy; you're in mourning and this is absolutely acceptable. Let yourself mourn. Be sad. Cry. Show your kids that having these feelings is acceptable and talk to them about accepting their own feelings, allowing themselves to be sad, finding healthy ways to express their feelings. One thing you can do is, as a family, collect pictures of your mother and put a special memorial album together that honors your mother's life and your happy moments with you and your kids. Talk to your kids about all the special moments and give them a chance to express themselves. This is a true expression of strength; as learning to express and manage your emotions will make you and your kids stronger.



Recognize that it will take time to heal and give yourself that time. Be gentle and kind to yourself and your kids. Strength does not come from denying your feelings, but allowing yourself to express and work through them.



Finally, accept that life is full of change and the more you allow yourself the opportunity to deal in healthy ways with change, the stronger you and your kids will become.



Best wishes for you and your family!
Reply:It's a hard time in your life, but also a wonderful one. I know it's ruff when you lose someone you love, but the best thing you can do is remember all the good things that person brought into your life. You have a new baby on the way, maybe you could honor your mother in some way with the baby's name or something. It may sound cheesey, but when I've gone threw things like that I try to leave everything in Gods hands and he gets me threw. Don't forget that it is ok to cry and to be sad, but don't let it take over. We all need time to grieve, it's a part of life. God bless!
Reply:I am so sorry for your loss, if you wanted to you could do something special for mothers day in honor of your mother, prehaps your kids can make cards for their grandmother you all can go and pick out a nice plant that she would like and then go to the cemetery and plant it with your kids in honor of your mother. It will be hard for you especially since you have all those preg hormones making you even more sensitive and upset, but you can teach your children that she is not really gone, she is always with them in their hearts and all they have to do is talk to her and think of her when they want and she will be there to listen. You need to know that as well, even though you can'[t see her she is there, i really believe in life after death and now she is all of your angels. You and your kids have to keep her spirit alive and that means still doing things like on her birthday and special occasions or anytime like making cards or simply saying a prayer. I wish you and your family luck, love, and happiness. and you will get that happiness because your baby is on her way. good bless.
Reply:It takes time and you're not crazy. My father died three years ago and I still have problems with father's day. It takes a lot of strength to buy a father's day card for my husband. Just walking down the aisle is hard. But it does get easier. I wouldn't push yourself but maybe its a good time for you and your kids to talk about how you and they are feeling. I try to visit my dad's grave around father's day as a way to remember him on that day. Maybe you can all do something to remember your mother. Maybe make a photo book for the new baby to look at so she can get to know her grandmother too. You'll get through it.
Reply:I am so sorry for your loss. My grandmother died last year very suddenly of a brain tumor. It was very hard each time a holiday came around. I would think of all the things we used to do on those holidays in the past. And yes there were many tears. Now I am due in October and can't imagine not having her around for my baby. But you have to remember the happy times, and not the sadness you are thinking now. That is the only way to get through something like that.



If I have a girl, I will be naming her after my grandmother in her memory.



When my son was born, my husband's grandfather had dies 2 weeks before. We were comforted in the knowledge that he was up in heaven taking care of our baby 2 whole weeks before he was born. Now, 10 years later, my son acts like his g-grandfather and has a lot of his mannerisms. It is very comforting.
Reply:First of all, don't let the media and advertisments all over upset you... they are flashy and extreme to get your attention on purpose. They want you to spend spend spend your money. Its hard to avoid them, but just remember the advertisements aren't there to make you love your mom more, or to make you miss you mother, its all about money!



This would be a sad time whether or not you're pregnant. You did lose a special person in your life, but just think about the new one that is about to come into your life. God works in mysterious ways. Trust in him.



Also, its ok for your children to see you sad. There is nothing wrong with that... they should learn about their emotions too. The only thing you want to try to avoid is day after day of depressive type moods. Make sure that after a "sad" moment, you do something for them or with that that is a "happy" moment. It is ok to be upset, but you can't let your whole life focus on the bad. Remember your blessings and help your children remember theirs.