How do I have a better relationship with my daughter?

my daughter is 36 years old and we had a good relationship when she was a toddler, now we clash, she is a very senstive person and she's very critical of everything I do she hates my significant other she takes everything i say the wrong way, she now has a daughter of her own thats 16 ..I had some bad things happen to me about 4 months ago and I needed a place to go and stay until I got myself together as a last resort I went to her house, she answered her door and told me that my emergencies are not her emergencies and basically she asked me to leave...I'm still in shock over this I spoke to her once briefly since then, and that was for her to say happy mothers day when i was on the phone with my grandaughter also she sent me a mothers day card to my place of employment with a note inside that said something relating to forgiviness I feel she owes me an apology she turned her back on me a my lowest point i would have trouble treating a stranger that way ,

How do I have a better relationship with my daughter?
That's a tough one. I am wondering if there were big problems between toddlerhood and moving out on her own. Sorry to suggest, but if you partied, drank, did drugs, had a lot of men in and out of her life, she is very resentful of you for what she may consider her lost youth. If those things did not happen, and nothing else, maybe she is just selfish. You raise them the best you can, but they still develop their own personalilties. Ask yourself -- did I mother her the way I should have, did I teach her to be generous, has she had something happen in her own adult life that might make her just want to be left alone? It would be nice if you could convince her to sit down with you and just ask if there is something you have done to cause her resentment. And, then listen and only listen. do not interrupt to defend your actions. Let her vent. You may hear things you never realized. You may hear that she took something the wrong way and when it is your turn to talk, explain nicely. Perhaps both of you could talk to a counselor or clergy.

See, I am almost 50, and my mom has no idea that the reason I do not visit very often is because she is very hateful to my father. I just cannot stand to be there very long at all because she is constantly correcting him or jumping down his throat because he starts to tell me something that she wanted to tell. So, she probably asks other people why they think I don't come around. You may not realize what you have done. ASK !!!
Reply:u dont ha ha
Reply:This is so very sad...and I'm sorry it has happened. You wont be able to change you daughters opinion. You can only change how you respond to her, or how you let it affect you. At 36 years old and dealing with her own daughter...you would think she would be a little more mature about this. Maybe you should ask her how she would feel if her daughter turned her back on her too. Does she have a good relationship with her child?..or do they butt heads alot?.....You should try to make your life happy now...and live for today...she will come around sooner or later when she sees she is being stubborn and clod hearted. Life is short...dont waste it trying to make up for the past.....the past is just that.....the past. Its gone.......have a good relationship with your granddaughter and enjoy life.....Good luck
Reply:I think the best thing for you to do is to be honest, 100% honest with yourself. There are reasons why your daughter is behaving this way.... I am sure she would like to have a good relationship with her mother but for some reason she is reluctant. What is this reason? To be honest you sound more like the daughter than the mother. No one is perfect we all make mistakes. You must be honest about the mistakes that you made with your daughter. Try talking to her, openly and honestly about yourself. This is not a time to be concerned about yourself - not if you want to build a relationship with your daughter. she also has been hurt by something in the past relating to you - have you apologised? I hope that my advice helps you . By the way, did the bad thing that happened to you have anything to do with your significant other?